Resilience
Nicholson McBride Resilience Questionnaire (NMRQ)
Why resilience?
"The road to success is always under construction." - by Lily Tomlin.
This saying always resonates with those who are striving to succeed at some point. If life is made up of decisions and choices, every decision we make as we hit the junction may be the turning point of our life.
Resilience gives people the emotional strength to cope with trauma, adversity, and hardship. It is "the core strength you use to lift the load of life". Being resilient does not mean we are trying to avoid stress, setbacks, and difficult emotions; instead, we tap into our strengths and overcome challenges to work through the barriers. Resilience empowers us to accept and adapt to various situations and move forward.
With resilience, one can change the tough situation for the better. Let’s watch this video to see how some great people change through resilience.
The key 21st-Century graduate attribute
During the era of change, none of us can avoid working in a relentlessly volatile environment. Integrating technologies and global interconnectedness are only making the future business landscape more unpredictable, requiring people to become more agile and flexible than ever to cope better at work.
To be congruent with the 21st-Century needs of the workforce, students should be equipped with resilience to handle any setback and pressure. Grave challenges are in the way of success, overwhelming those who don’t have the strength to hold on to their pursuit but switch to another path that would make their life easier. Candidates demonstrating resilient quality turn out to be preferable in the job market. Watch this video to understand more about the importance of resilience in the workplace.
Resilience is growth.
At times, rejection is not failure and disapproval is not the end of the process. As we keep trying and finding alternatives to reach our goals, the rejection and disapproval received were only part of the process. They are never the destination unless you stop there without taking action to get over them. Rejections were lessons to help perfect our imperfections.
Challenges can be perceived as moments when our existing skills and knowledge are limited to help get us out of the situation. Not giving up is to force our brain to create new wires, connections and solutions to address the issue head-on without falling into despair or unhealthy coping mechanisms.
This is when we grow to become more creative and adaptable to create better opportunities. Becoming more resilient not only helps us get through difficult circumstances, it also empowers us to grow. Last but not least, a growth mindset creates a love of learning and resilience that is essential for achieving goals and success.
What is Resilience?
Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. As much as resilience involves "bouncing back" from these difficult experiences, it can also be personal growth.
Shooting for the moon sounds motivating but it requires relentless effort, actions, and exceptional resilience to persevere through the stress, self-doubt and frustration along the way. Resilience is more than a mindset. The art of resilience lies in a series of actions that empower a person to make changes for higher adaptability and possibility.
"Be like water making its way through cracks" -- by Bruce Lee
Water is powerful because of its shapelessness and formlessness. It can be changed into anything to fit into the environment. It can save people from thirst, wash away dirt, grow crops, put out the fire, carry away cars, or smash buildings. Its power comes from its agility.
Long before Bruce Lee, the ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, had already used water as the metaphor in his teaching of philosophy of life to illustrate that one shall not be limited to one form, but be flexible so as to grow and fit into the environment. After all, making changes to ourselves to deal with the circumstances is easier than facilitating change around us. "Be water, my friend."
3Cs to Acquire: Challenge, Commitment, Personal Control
These three Cs can be found in a resilient person. They see challenges as chances, stay committed to their lives, goals and relationships, and focus their energy on something in their control.
3Ps to Avoid: Permanence, Pervasiveness, Personalisation
A resilient person has the ability to avoid any negative events lingering and permeating into one’s life and pervade other aspects and functions. They understand that self-blaming never gets them anywhere but only being proactive will get them out of deep waters.
Resilience vs. Grit
Grit is not just a synonym for resilience. It is a more recent import and is defined as the tendency to sustain the effort towards long term goals. In short, resilience more often refers to the ability to bounce back from short-term struggles, while grit has the tendency to stick with something long-term.
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How to be resilient?
Resilience isn’t a fixed trait. Flexibility, adaptability, and perseverance help us tap into our resilience by changing certain thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Developing resilience is both complex and personal. It involves a combination of inner strengths and outer resources, and there isn’t a universal formula for becoming more resilient.
The good news is that resilience can be learned. Learning to be resilient doesn’t mean simply figuring out how to "grin and bear it" and avoiding obstacles. Building resilience is a process of utilizing flexibility to reframe thought patterns. Like building a muscle, increasing your resilience takes time and intentionality. Try to develop self-awareness, build self-regulation skills, learn coping skills, increase optimism, strengthen connections, and know our strengths.
Failures do happen, but they mean different things to resilient people. To them, failures don’t define them but are something that yields experience for continuous learning and growth. They understand that the road to success is tough with challenges. It is often a road of solitude because it is definitely not for everyone.
With a change in perspective, we can turn things around and create our own path to success. The following are some tips to help you shift the focus to regain motivation and continue your dream.
Video: Dorothy on Improving Empathy